不再是生日那么简单了。

一个永远都会让我记得的生日。从二零一零年的十月十一日的八点三十分起，我的生日不在是我的生日那么简单了，也变成是我可以纪念我们的公/外公的日子。 在接到这消息的那一刻，我还在睡梦中。我是听到我妈的哭声给惊醒的。那一刻的心情，不知道可以用那么文字来形容。也许得说是无法用文字来形容吧。

我的外公他是个很不认老的一位长辈，也是个很坚强，意志力很强的一位老人家。他在医院里的时候，病情都是反反复复的。他真的很想很想从医院里离开，回到自己的家里，好像往前一样，坐着他的摩托去吃早餐，去他要去的地方; 可是他的内脏就是无法让他继续这样的日子。

到了今天，在我的脑里都还在一直想到他在医院里努力的和病魔对抗。每当我进入病房里，心就会很酸。特别是第二次他进入ICU的那几天，整个人瘦了很多很多。他在ICU的时候，有个早晨，他还很精神的。在他离开的前一个晚上，当我和我哥进去看他的时候，他中气还很大声地叫我哥松开他。 没想到，我们离开医院回家不到十二个小时，就接到他离开的消息。真的有点令人接受不到。

出殡的那一刻，更让人无法忘记。平时看起来不大会哭的，在那一刻，都红了眼眶。我想没有人没有红了眼眶吧。不舍的心情，在大家的脸上都可以看得到。

亲戚们，虽然他离开了我们，但我相信他永远都会在我们心中。这是没人可以从我们心中拿走。我们在这里好好的祝福公/外公和婆/外婆，在另一个没有痛苦的天国里，过得永远开心快乐，他们也一直都会保佑我们，让我们大家会健康快乐的

Time Flies.

I was a long time didn't update here. Such a long time I'm being lazy.
Time flies very fast, already get ready go into middle of October. I was getting afraid. I already having this kind of life for few months. Its a depression, stresses and pressures life. What I could says is I'm useless. When every time someone ask me about my status, I'm feel afraid to answer them. Why? No why, the feeling is totally hard to description. Sometime I choose silent to escape this all questions. The feeling of depression never leave away from me.

In this few months, I was really realized that I m totally weakness. Brave and strong always far away from me. Its a chance to know about my disadvantages. I always should learn how to be confidence when I face to strangers. I'm totally fails to do this. I always can't speak fluent when I face strangers.

My family always said me that I'm not work hard to seeking the job. When they asked, I always smile and only answer..."Oh"...That all. I know if I explain more, there will be more excuses. I'm really getting tired and tired from bottom of the heart to seeking the job. Every time before I go for the interview, I tell myself, be confidence, be steady and smile so you can success to the interview, but the results had been beat me. Depression totally can't description about my feel now.

I was saw a lot of my friends were able to get their new job very fast, my mind is pop out this question, "why they can do, but no me". Useless is pop out from my mind frequently.
Else, the year end is coming soon, the job is more hard to get.--Haiz, more afraid.
Maybe not luck around me, this is I had to admit.
No choice, I have to bear this all. This is my life.

I hope my life will be wonderful shortly...This is what I want to.